


An Introduction into the Study of Angels

by awkwardsloth



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-06-21 02:58:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15548091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardsloth/pseuds/awkwardsloth
Summary: This is a short little drabble (?) i guess is what you would call it





	1. Chapter 1

At first you thought you had misheard when you first strolled past the bunker door. But then you back-tracked your footing and were most _definitely_ certain. Castiel was listening to fucking dub-step.

Well, now you have questions.

The door was already cracked slightly open, so you curiously inched your way into the bedroom that the enigmatic angel of the lord tended to frequent whenever he visited the bunker. He was sprawled out on the floor, comfortably laying on his back with limbs spread-eagle—a serene facial expression somewhere between Mr. Rodgers ‘Hello, neighbor’ and ‘I just smoked my first reefer and do hereby declare myself the Lizard King’.

Needless to say, you were a bit confused and cleared your throat in nonverbal greeting to your eldritch companion. Castiel assumed a sitting position and, with his signature head tilt, responded in kind, “Yes, Y/N?”

Sucking in a breath, you questioned with descending pitch, “Hey, what’cha doin’ there, buddy?”

And so began your lesson in how angels experience music—hint hint: it has to do with waves—which promptly led to him explaining how he is able to harness electronic devices such as televisions and radios to communicate with his human counterparts. By the end of his explanation, you mentally chided yourself for not postulating on your own these theories earlier in your acquaintanceship with the ancient being. It was so obvious! At their core, angels _are_ multidimensional _wavelengths_ …of celestial intent. The discussion with your socially awkward, archaic friend did, however, leave you wondering why the hell they all seemed to have such a strong fixation with sugar and caffeine. If you had to guess, it probably had something to do with the foodstuffs molecular structure. You made a mental note to ask him next time he graced you with his frustratingly infrequent presence.


	2. Chapter 2

You were currently sat in the bunker library, using pencil and notebook paper to draft a list of topics that you wished to discuss with Castiel. It had only been an hour since your conversation with him, which had proved to be eye-opening, leading you to recognize just how different angels truly were from humans. Up until that point, you had regarded Castiel as humanlike, to some extent—but that conversation had made you realize that Castiel did not perceive the world the same way in which you did. He was otherworldly and peculiar. You were intrigued and wanted to learn what the human world was really like to an angel—after all, they were a different species all together from humans and the only way to properly treat them with respect was to learn and understand them.

The topics of discussion you had thus far jotted down were phrased the way they had come to you in your mind: as questions. ‘What gender can an angel identify as, if they identify at all? Is gender seen as just a human construct to your species, existing as multidimensional beings and all?’ You reasoned that Castiel must be an authority on the subject, what with him having been a human for a period of time. Who better to answer your questions on angels and gender than an angel that had actually experienced being a human man? You then wondered if perhaps they just be, just exist… Castiel himself seemed quite masculine, perhaps partly due to his vessel being male—but did he just go with whatever vessel would have allowed him to complete his mission? What was just available to him at the time he required an earthly apparatus?

Oh! It could be possible for them to identify as gender fluid or agender. Maybe it was even possible that their vessels could be used as extensions of themselves to help convey how they want to be identified. After all, some angels befriended their vessels. Then again, it was just as plausible that some would view the vessel as a hollow shell, only meant to serve their earthly purposes—like how humans used mechanical technology to complete a task, just a mode of transportation to help them function on humanity’s plane of existence, like a car or train helping people get from one place to another. From the tales of run-ins with the species the Winchesters’ had regaled you with, the latter postulation was a disheartening possibility. Some of them _did_ view humans as bumbling, faulty mud monkeys.

You knew _Castiel_ didn’t view you, or the rest of your species that way. He was humanity’s hypeman, praising your kind as much as he was confounded by them—so not all angels were dicks with wings. Thank Chuck. Of course, this line of thought lead you to ponder Castiel’s track record with vessels. You knew Jimmy Novak’s aesthetically pleasing body wasn’t the first Cas had taken up residence in, just as you knew Jimmy was no longer bunkmates with him. You began to inscribe along the lines of your notebook paper, recording the thoughts firing away in the synapses of your brain.

‘How does he feel now that he no longer shares the body with a human soul? What did it feel like the first time he entered and possessed a vessel? Have any of the people whose bodies he possessed actively expelled him? If so, why? How often has this occurred? How many vessels has Castiel possessed in total? Why that many?’

He might find it to be too prying of you, to ask these questions—but an insatiably curious part of you wanted to know. Castiel was an antediluvian creature, more than likely being literally as old as dirt; he may not have been immortal, but he was definitely old enough to have drastically changed before ever meeting you or the Winchesters. He was also still perplexed by humans, so it was likely that the questions you had for him were just as numerous as those he might have concerning humans.

As an afterthought, you added, ‘How has your paradigm changed? i.e. how you view human vessels and your acclimation from the multidimensional plane of existence that transcends everything to functioning on the earthly plane/realm of existence’.

You began to wonder what it must be like for the human who agrees to let an angel inhabit them. Was it painful? Confining? Did it alter the way the human themselves perceived the world, if they were allowed to see what was going on while the angel used their body? If the angel was able to view different dimensions all at the same time, would the human as well? Was it discombobulating? It would definitely give them a new perspective. You began to add all these questions running through your mind to the notebook paper.

After jotting down questions inquiring into how the human vessel is affected, you came to the conclusion that it must be a two-way street. If the human could be affected, then so could the angel, right? You hastily began to record the rapid fire thoughts racing through your head after this rationalization.

‘How does it feel for an angel to possess a vessel as opposed to being disembodied from one? How does passing from earth to heaven work while possessing a vessel? How do angels experience emotions without a vessel? Does possessing a vessel affect this? In what way? What is an effective manner in which to flirt with or woo an angel? Surely not by complimenting how aesthetically pleasing their vessel appears, as that is a superficial way to do things since the vessel is not the angel’s actual body? The vessel does not represent the angels beauty—only their ability to find an attractive—by human standards—vessel. Do you highlight the positive aspects of their personality? Their combat skills and intelligence? How do angels think, process, or interpret concepts and the human senses (smell, sound, taste, sight)? Human psychics translate an angels thoughts as colors instead of words—why is that? Does synesthesia play a role in this? Do angels exist on multiple planes? If so, how would this affect their emotions and choices?’

 The fervor with which you wrote all of these inquisitions had you a little short of breath, as you had forgotten to breathe while scribbling all the thoughts down in a maddening quick pace, for fear of forgetting them. Your penmanship had taken a turn for the intangible in your haste, so you knew you would need to rewrite everything. You let out a huff at the thought; you hated having to do the same thing twice—you’d rather get it done right the first time. Well, if you were going to rerecord it all, you might as well just type it all up. Thankfully, your laptop was already with you in the library, as you had left it there earlier in the day when you and the boys were searching for cases but found nothing of plausibility. When you had the computer all set and were ready to type away you decided that you might as well listen to some music while you were at it. When you had pulled up Youtube, your recommendations list contained some video clips from a television you were surprised to find yourself enjoying: The Good Place, as it was called. Seeing those clips had reminded you of a scene from the first season, where the character Michael was telling Eleanor something along the lines of, “Pardon the mess.”…”Oh, I’m sorry; forgot you cannot see in seven dimensions.”

This memory raised a few good questions about multidimensional beings: ‘how many dimensions can angels see in? Does this change in any way when they inhabit a vessel? Does an angel’s wings exist on another plane of existence/dimension? Is that why humans cannot perceive them? Their senses are too dull to see past the earthly dimension and into another?’

After transferring all of your inquiries, from paper to screen, you decided to do a little research on the internet. You thought of words to describe angels, ‘eldritch’ seeming to be the best one. Google definitions read, “Eldritch: weird and sinister or ghostly.”

Yep, that sounded about right. Some angels—the archangels in particular—definitely gave off the ‘weird and sinister’ vibe; they bided their time for millennia to have a pissing match between brothers, manipulating humanity and angels alike for their selfish, childish schemes. That wasn’t just weird, that was dysfunctional.

Some other anecdotes your browsing yielded had made sense. You copy and pasted them into your word document with the questions you had. The newly added information read, “The Eldritch Abomination is a type of creature defined by its disregard for the natural laws of the universe as we understand them. They are grotesque mockeries of reality beyond comprehension whose disturbing otherness cannot be encompassed in any mortal tongue. ... Reality itself warps around them.  
If you're reading a horror or fantasy story, you may see the word eldritch, which means uncanny, unearthly, and weird in a supernatural way. Anything a witch does is eldritch. Goblins and elves are eldritch creatures. A story full of ghosts and strange monsters is full of eldritch elements.”

You let out a huff that was supposed to be a dry, humorless chuckle. Your life as a hunter led you to dealing with these so-called ‘eldritch abominations’ on a sometimes daily basis. You wondered how Rowena would feel about being labeled an eldritch abomination. It wouldn’t be pretty.

Angels seemed to be the most befitting creatures of this title, though. Their very existence was all about warping reality, from their ability to fly, to their hidden true forms, to the grace that is part of their essence—contained within those gargantuan, multi-headed true forms. You could not understand how they were able to live such long lifespans. Did they not age? Did the laws of science truly not apply to them? How could such massive creatures fit inside humans? You had learned from secretly reading Chuck’s books that Castiel’s true form was approximately the size of the friggin’ Chrysler building, but he never gave you the impression that he seemed crammed inside of six foot tall James Novak. You suddenly pictured the scene from Disney’s Aladdin, where genie explained all of his infinite cosmic power was confined to a teeny tiny living space. Was that not the case for angels?! And on the subject of grace, was it the source of an angel’s powers? Did it function like a soul did for humans? How did the idea of the halo originate? Did they send out a glowing, holy aura—or as the idea of the halo created to show which people were appointed to carry out heaven’s will? How did their wings work, exactly? Did the size, number, and composition of the wings vary from angel to angel depending on their class or rank? What is and is not avian about them? How does an angel, in its true form, sing songs that praise god, as the bible says they do? Why does their form burn a human’s eyes out? Is it too bright, shining with flames like the sun? Too overwhelming for human senses? Is the secrecy of their form protected by magic, or their grace? It all did truly seem to disregard the natural laws of science you were taught in school. Perhaps that anecdote had truth in it stating that an eldritch abominations ‘otherness’ could not be explained through ‘any mortal tongue’….Perhaps angels would remain arcane beings to you, no matter how much you studied them; you would never be able to fully understand and grasp the concept of them.

As you pondered all this, the beginning notes and lyrics from one of your favorite songs blasted from your laptop’s speakers: Kansas’ Carry on My Wayward Son. It never failed to fill you with a sense of happiness and nostalgia. You could never sit still when it began to play; you had to, at the very least, tap your fingers to the beat while mouthing the lyrics. As you did this, you wondered what the exact definition of ‘wayward’ actually _was_. You googled it and paused your physical show of appreciation for the song playing at the definition given.

‘Wayward: difficult to control or predict because of unusual or perverse behavior’. If that didn’t describe Castiel to a tee, you didn’t know what did. He certainly was regarded as such by his own brothers and sisters…..wait. Were they really his _actual_ brothers and sisters—like, biologically related to one another—or was that how they regarded one another? Like they were members to some religious order or something, being bonded by their shared mission? The way one would refer to a priest as ‘father’?

You began to once again type away your questions into the word document you had created, then resumed your internet search for more evidence that could help you generate further questions to ask Castiel. So far, all that you were definitely certain of was that angels were visitors from other "realities" or "dimensions" that coexist separately alongside your own. Holy mother of sin. Angels were the closest thing your universe had to aliens—well, them and faeries. Chuck damnit, you hated faeries. To this day, you still worried about whether or not Dean was forced to service king Oberon—that rape-y bastard.

Before you could stew in your disdain for those nonsensical, twisted bastards any longer your phone dinged, having received a message from Sam that informed you he was almost finished with his supply run and would return in 30 minutes with dinner. You sent him an ‘okie dokie’, before resuming your research. You began to copy and paste snippets of information that you believed could aid you in your study of angels. You didn’t dare do a web search about angels, believing you would only stumble upon religious dogma riddled with misconceptions or YA romance novels that focused on hypersexualizing them. Instead you tried finding research about the senses, such as eye sight, and scientific theories about dimensions—hoping if you presented all of this info with your questions, then Castiel would better understand and more adequately answer what you wanted to know. You revised and reorganized it all until it read as:

 **“** How many dimensions can we perceive?  
We are 3D creatures, living in a 3D world but our eyes can show us only **two dimensions**. The depth that we all think we can see is merely a trick that our brains have learned; a byproduct of evolution putting our eyes on the front of our faces. The images **we see** are made up of light reflected from the objects **we** look at. Because the front part of the eye is curved, it bends the light, creating an **upside down** image on the retina. The brain eventually turns the image the right way up.

 **Extradimensional** : Originating outside the known physical reality of the universe. Coming from a **dimension** outside Einsteinian space-time. An extradimensional **being** or intelligence (also intra-dimensional and other-dimensional) is a type of theoretical or a real entity in a dimension beyond our own? According to superstring theory, all of the elementary particles in the universe are composed of vibrating, one- **dimensional** mathematical objects known as strings. Space-time is a **4** vector, so while we DO live in 3 SPATIAL dimensions, we also do live in **4** dimensions so they are both right. If one of them is saying we live in **4** dimension of space, then he misunderstands Einstein.  
"Ether theory" is a theory you can find on Google. The things in our daily life have height, width and length. But for someone who's only known life in two **dimensions** , 3-D would be impossible to comprehend. And that, according to many researchers, is the reason **we can** 't **see** the fourth **dimension** , or any other **dimension** beyond that. Difference between 2D, 3D, 4D and latest **5D** Ultrasound Machines. Ultrasound **scanning** is an essential clinical tool which provides images of the fetal internal anatomy. Sometimes it is also referred to as sonography because it relies on high-frequency sound waves to generate cross-sectional slices through the body. According to superstring theory, there are at least 10 dimensions in the universe (M-theory actually suggests that there are **11 dimensions** to spacetime; bosonic string theories suggest **26 dimensions** ). **”**

Most of it seemed to go over your head—it’s not like you had a science degree—but you did the best you could to try and understand what you discovered during your browsing. You hoped Castiel would explain it in simpler terms when you presented him your questions and research. He made your discussion about music sound simple enough, but you feared that even in layman’s terms that the topics of discussion would be too complicated for you to fully grasp an understanding of.

You decided you had done enough research for the day, saving your progress before closing all your windows and programs. Your head had been spinning with questions and confusion during the whole affair and all you had gotten out of it was the forming a headache. Thankfully Dean came striding in the library, wearing grey work out sweats and a pout on his face, asking, “Is Sam back yet? I’m in need of some grub,” while rubbing his abdomen for a moment to emphasize his point. He noticed your laptop open, meaning to ask if you were looking for a case after your group’s earlier failed attempt, but he was interrupted by the sound of your phone dinging with another message from Sam, letting you know he was in the kitchen with dinner. That evening you all shared take out while binge watching Netflix shows, trying in vain to explain the correlation of orange and black to Castiel.

The next morning after breakfast, Castiel intercepted you and stated, “I am needed elsewhere, so I cannot answer your questions today.”

“Wai-… What? How did you know I had questions to ask you?”

“I could sense you experiencing confusion and exhibiting a strong longing to speak with me, so I approached you yesterday but found you studiously typing on your computer and left you be,” he stated matter-of-factly. “And no, I don’t find you to be too prying; your curiosity is one of the many beautiful qualities I adore about your species. Farewell,” he bids you with a clap on the shoulder and a kiss on the cheek before striding off. You huff a laugh. Of course he could read your emotions and of course he would—WAIT, WHAT?!!?! Did he just kiss you on the _cheek?!_ A whole new line of questions began racing through your head.

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written fanfiction before--apologies if it was written poorly. If you believe that you could do it more justice, then i encourage you to do so. I would love to see where you take it. I'm more of a reader than a writer *shrugs shoulders* i honestly just began writing down what popped into my head on day and have been procrastinating on posting it because i have never posted anything before.


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